5/10/2014
Dear diary,
yesterday we went to the circus and it was great. I was laughing so hard because the circus master made a hyena jump in to a massive tank full of grey paint, the circus master felt miserable for the hyena so he got a sandwich full of all types of fish like tuna and shrimp. But the circus master had not given up yet he made him climb a huge ladder. I kind of felt bad so I left early but it was still a great day because I got my new phone.
YAY: P
Jamie
love your story come to se one of myne
http://kidblog.org/MrMcGintysClass2/d7373310-e2a4-4720-9e4e-6cfb0329627c/100-wc-carlos-versus-the-hyena/
Hi there Paul I really liked your story, especially when you said you felt bad for the Heyna and when you got your new phone.Byeee!!
I liked your story, but you didn’t capitalize the beginning of your story.
It’s Conan from Mrs Boyce’s class.. I like circuses. I fell bad for the hyena. Please come back and visit my blog.
Hi Paul
I loved your story,but you put ‘the circus master’ and ‘felt’ over and over again.Instead of a full stop you could put in a comma in front of the ‘but’.I liked the way you used the hyena in a circus.
Nice job paul, but i’d like to hear how the new phone plays into the circus story a bit more next time.